Very very tired

Well i’m back from brunei and i must say i’m so very thankful to my God that He has again proved that He never fails. Throughout the trip, i didn’t sustain any injury at all except for some small cuts while bashing during swamp walk which couldn’t be avoided.

I’ve seen how God brought me thru the whole trip…provided me the strength to carry on when i feel like i cant carry on. motion in the platoon is building up..and its getting more and more tiring not only to the body, but the soul. I’m really really exhausted from all the motion esp after the 7 days continuous outfield. (but honestly biang wasn’t as scarry as i thought it would be…but it was God that brought me thru)

I yearn to do things that truly mean something to me. But as for now, a lot of it is still motion, though my God is real. My friends my family as well. Now that i’ve gotten back the perspective of my life that im comfortable with, i’m happy. In fact, i couldn’t have asked for more. God has been so good.

So here’s the update. I’ll have a good 1 week off before i book in next monday again before we start heading towards bn exercises now that the coys are validated. This means the support elements like my own platoon needs to step up to be operational very soon. It’s gonna be mad motion…After the first year commanders ord, it’s only gonna build up…from what i can see.

Still, i’ll hold on to the hope that God provided. I don’t know what’s going to happen next nor do i know if training will only get tougher. But i know God is always there by my side bringing me through all the obstacles.

That’s what gives me the assurance of my future. =)

I can't live without God

It's not been too good a past week actually. Stress mounting, disappointment experienced from literally all quarters of my life. The battle was fierce, and it was tough to keep my emotions in check, from ruling my actions. I know it was tough on my boy Ryan too, and i wish i could have done more for him, but i was stretched way too thin with my personal life. I literally snapped, I almost wanted to just throw in the towel and just do nothing.

Too many things have happened recently, none of which was under my control. I felt so helpless, so alone. Trying to remedy the situation on top of my usual commitments had worn me down, which was also on top of my own emotional struggles. I felt taxed, felt drained, felt there were too many things to do to even pray - that's the whole problem you see. I run myself dry as though there'll be no consequence, with terrible implications afterwards. Everything looked dark, everything looked bleak, I felt I had no hope, like it was taken from me.

That's when I knew I had come to the end of myself, into shreds. Totally broken, exhausted and hopeless, I approached the King of Kings once more, where He restored to me strength, assurance and a new hope, and changed my countenance. A broken and contrite spirit, He will not despise. He has changed my mourning into dancing, and once again, I could life my voice in sweet praise of Him. O what a joy! To just worship Him in unrushed time, and let Him minister in my tears.

I've found my joy, and my freedom, for He is my inheritance. Have you found your inheritance recently? And so, because He has such a vast love, that can cover and blot out the depths of my sin, I shall and must, continue to serve Him all the days of my life. What can I do without you Lord?

Nothing, absolutely nothing, and proud of it =)

Well, as David the Psalmist, King of Israel says to the Lord, "I'm poor and needy". Hence I'm unafraid to be poor, to be needy before the Lord. Not as a sign of weakness, but rather, embracing our original design as mere men. Creation to creator, period.

Time for that much needed servicing?



Jared

Magic

Yesterday was good.

Managed to run a new 10 km route around my estate, and I did it close to noon too. Really felt like giving up many parts of the way, but was encouraged at many points to trudge on. The wind, the beautiful sun and the deep and rich greenery spoke to me. The ever rising sun tells of God's amazing grace to His people to always provide for them the strength to grow their crops, and the light to guide their paths, regardless of circumstance. And it was through the wind, that Moses saw the back of God. The rich and lush greenery just made me stand in awe of His Magnificent.

Whenever I needed encouragement, I would just close my eyes and walk into the wind, and the wind, would just blow stronger as though in response to my need. It's magical, and I wouldn't trade anything else for this. God is here, God is holding me together during this critical period of time. For without Him, I would really have crumbled. His strength in my weakness exemplified.

He is teaching me many things, and I know it. And I think i'm beginning to realise what Paul meant when he said all that he has once considered loss, he now considers gain. Though it was a deep loss, absolutely heart wrenching at first, I can also consider it pure gain...

For I have taken away many lessons.
1) More than anything else, I've learnt perserverance - to not give up in the face
of mounting difficulty and discouragement
2) I've learnt how one must suffer when fighting for a cause
3) My prayer to grasp the concept of pure agape love was answered
4) I've seen how fear can motivate and how to overcome it
5) I know who I am
5) And many other lessons, none of which we can learn from the classroom

Hence, it is gain.

It was a very trying 2008 which almost threatened to cloud the days of 2009. But it shall not. A new Beginning, a new start, the old has gone, the new has come. I've come to accept the fact that life is going to be tough, and inevitably I will be defeated by my circumstances at times. But, I've decided in my heart and spirit that I will never stay defeated.


Bye 2008, Hello 2009.

Love,
Jared

Tiring but Still God Prevails... :)

Hahas... its my first post here :)

Anyway...being the last week of the term, everything was due! It was a real tiring but amazing week lots of deadlines and not much sleep...(My eyes were like: =.= when i had got to school lol) Had 4 deadlines to meet as well as having 2 tests at the end of week! the earliest i slept was at 2am... (weird cause 2am really is early.. in the morning >.>).

After churning out those reports and case studies... finally it came to the two tests... ugh. French and Japanese. having slept late the night before - which was 3.45am, i didn't study much about French or Japanese. But before i slept, i just skimmed through the different topics for French, and on the bus to school that day, browsed through Japanese. 

Well, 3 quarters of the paper was on language - real easy :) Then came the culture part of the test... lets pause here.

Then came French test... fully on culture. I was wondering how i would fare in the test because i barely studied for it.

All the questions on culture for both Japanese and French... were all that i had remembered! :) All the other topics that i did not go through did not appear at all! Praise God! Except some in the Japanese paper... but thats besides the point (Since thats only about 9 questions out of 50).

I didn't even pray... 

But God knows our hearts cry, even if we do not ask... God still showers us with all the love that he has... Amen!

Oh and lest i forget... I was selected just eariler (along with 2 other classmates) to write game reviews for a well known game magazine! I couldn't believe it! every few months, i will be receiving a yet to be released game and my review would be published in that magazine.

God just opened my eyes to so many things in just one day... God Loves us Dearly and he can barely wait to just shower blessings onto us.

I just can wait to see what else he has in store for me... THANK YOU LORD! :D

Jesus Loves You :)

God bless!

Renqi :)

THANK YOU LORD!!!!

Was actually quite discouraged earlier this morning because I didn't get to revise as much as I would have liked to. Just had an earlier paper on saturday afternoon, which I spent all my time preparing the past week. So I had like, half a sun and some mon morning to revise. I felt quite unprepared.

Just when i started to contemplate the worst case scenario, my mum prayed for me. I also received a prayer sms. Thank you:) These two people helped me to find my peace in God, and that made a WHOLE LOT of difference. With that new found peace, I managed to finish an in-depth revision of a psyche chapter, and half of another chapter. I prayed really hard that the stuff i revised, which wasn't much, would come out.

It did, and it was a 60 MARK QUESTION AT THAT!!! Someone else beside me had nothing else to write and was sighing away, but I was busy scribbling notes and planning my answer and was afraid I didn't even have enough time to finish writing!! THANKS BE TO GOD!!!! He really honours us when we humble ourselves before Him:) Thank you Abba, you saved me!

Well, I hope that this testimony encourages you.

God Bless!
Jared

Jesus’ Blood Is On The Mercy Seat

Leviticus 16:14 14He shall take some of the blood of the bull and sprinkle it with his finger on the mercy seat on the east side; and before the mercy seat he shall sprinkle some of the blood with his finger seven times.

If you have watched the movie, Raiders Of The Lost Ark, you would remember that when the lid of the ark was lifted, strange-looking creatures floated out and destroyed the people around it. Interesting as it may be, this is biblically inaccurate — the ark of the Bible did not contain strange-looking creatures. What were the things inside it then? There were three items in the ark: the golden pot of manna, Aaron’s rod and two stone tablets on which God had written the Ten Commandments. (Hebrews 9:4) These items are actually symbols of man’s rebellion. The golden pot of manna represents man’s rejection of God’s provision. The rod of Aaron represents man’s rejection of God’s leadership and the two stone tablets of God’s commandments represent man’s rejection of His standard of holiness. But because God delights in mercy, He had these items put away in the ark and covered with the mercy seat, which had two cherubim on it. (Hebrews 9:5) And once a year, the high priest would enter the holy of holies where the ark was and sprinkle the blood of the animal sacrifice on the mercy seat. This means that God’s eyes, represented by the eyes of the cherubim, did not see the symbols of man’s rebellion. As long as the blood was there on the mercy seat, He saw only the blood and accepted the people. Today, Jesus is our High Priest and He Himself has sprinkled His own blood on the true mercy seat in heaven — the throne of grace. (Hebrews 9:23–26) Interestingly, the number of times that the Old Testament high priest had to sprinkle the blood on the mercy seat — seven — speaks of Jesus’ perfectsacrifice. And because His sacrifice is perfect and He is perfect, we who are in Christ have perfect standing forever before God! My friend, as you come to God today, don’t worry about falling short of His standard of holiness. He does not see your sins. (Hebrews 8:12, 10:17) He sees His Son’s blood on the mercy seat. You have perfect standing before Him forever! -abstract posted by vin

Thankful

I just really so thankful to God! At first I thought that I might have hurt my back while helping a dear friend move stuff. But when I woke up the next morning, the pain was no more!! Just normal aching after like a workout alr. Praise God!! Indeed He makes me Whole and Complete EVERYTIME!

I was so happy I went for a run!! Heck the cough, I ran 3.5km! I'm not gg to let the cough hold me back no longer man... I need my long runs:) By God's grace, no harm shall befall me by doing this!! (when you're sick you're not supposed to run)

Now I've got my two last tests and one deadline before my Exams start on the 22nd of November, a saturday. That's my D-Day.

My studies, is where my real personal battleground is. It's also where i get discouraged most of the time. Then, I thought I might be giving up my academic aspirations, till I read this verse.

Pro 12:11 He who works his land will have abundant food,
but he who chases fantasies lacks judgment.

Of course, there's no land to till now, so since i'm a student, i must "work my land" by studying hard - to get abundant food. No mention was made in the bible of how God was going to rate us. God does not rate us the way other men would. But why should we care how others rate us, when God has the depths of the earth, and the heights of the heavens in His hands? He only requires us to work at it, and He shall, and I believe with all of my Heart, provide the abundant food.

Father, I am truly hungry. Feed me!

Jared