I can't live without God

It's not been too good a past week actually. Stress mounting, disappointment experienced from literally all quarters of my life. The battle was fierce, and it was tough to keep my emotions in check, from ruling my actions. I know it was tough on my boy Ryan too, and i wish i could have done more for him, but i was stretched way too thin with my personal life. I literally snapped, I almost wanted to just throw in the towel and just do nothing.

Too many things have happened recently, none of which was under my control. I felt so helpless, so alone. Trying to remedy the situation on top of my usual commitments had worn me down, which was also on top of my own emotional struggles. I felt taxed, felt drained, felt there were too many things to do to even pray - that's the whole problem you see. I run myself dry as though there'll be no consequence, with terrible implications afterwards. Everything looked dark, everything looked bleak, I felt I had no hope, like it was taken from me.

That's when I knew I had come to the end of myself, into shreds. Totally broken, exhausted and hopeless, I approached the King of Kings once more, where He restored to me strength, assurance and a new hope, and changed my countenance. A broken and contrite spirit, He will not despise. He has changed my mourning into dancing, and once again, I could life my voice in sweet praise of Him. O what a joy! To just worship Him in unrushed time, and let Him minister in my tears.

I've found my joy, and my freedom, for He is my inheritance. Have you found your inheritance recently? And so, because He has such a vast love, that can cover and blot out the depths of my sin, I shall and must, continue to serve Him all the days of my life. What can I do without you Lord?

Nothing, absolutely nothing, and proud of it =)

Well, as David the Psalmist, King of Israel says to the Lord, "I'm poor and needy". Hence I'm unafraid to be poor, to be needy before the Lord. Not as a sign of weakness, but rather, embracing our original design as mere men. Creation to creator, period.

Time for that much needed servicing?



Jared